So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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