Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
