That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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