I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
