it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
