You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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