Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
