Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
