I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize