Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
