This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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