Banned from zoo.
Again?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
my poor anus
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
