Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Someone signed my nipple.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
