I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
