Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
