I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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