And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
