I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
