5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
