just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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