Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
