I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
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