I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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