At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
