All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
