No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
