I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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