I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
