the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
and you fell through a lawn chair
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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