So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
