I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
