were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
