I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you win again, gameday.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
