I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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