Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
