Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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