she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
