i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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