Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Drunk is a universal language darling
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