i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
