you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
