You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
