At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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