is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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