Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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