Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
