haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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