wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
