Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
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