so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
